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Every editor has their hobbyhorse when it comes to grammar and style choices, things they suggest in every book and with every author. Description is certainly just such an obsession for me.
And not because I love description, but because I kind of hate it. If you are like me, sometimes you may wonder why we even need visual description to begin with. The answer is: imagery. How else can you help your readers imagine your story but through description? I am focusing almost entirely on visual description here, but we should also include the other senses in our books too to give our readers the most rich and engaging experience. And a lot of these points could also apply to the other description types too.
So, here are a few thoughts about description that I hope help with your imagery.
1. Description affects pacing.
To be more specific, description slows pacing down. This isn't bad or good, just right or not right depending on the placement. Are you in a scene where you want to slow things down and give impact to an action or a realization? Add some description. In the middle of a fight with a ninja nun alien? Be brief! Description isn’t the only thing that affects pacing, but it is a biggie, so use it accordingly.
2. Brief, pithy, or striking works better than detailed, lengthy, or clinical.
Okay, so actionny and tense moments should be quick, but don’t those moments also need description in order for the reader to see and know what is happening?
Yes, but the solution is not to make the description more detailed: not only does this slow things down, it can actually have the opposite effect we are going for.
Let me give you an example. One book we published at Splinter Press had one scene where the character encountered a robot police officer, and a chase scene ensued. In this case, what the copbot looked like was important because many following scenes became confusing otherwise. The author's solution was to give a very detailed description of the bot right away. The problem was that it wasn't working the way she hoped. First off, it slowed everything down, and also, even with all that description, readers still weren't able to really picture it, and the following scenes were still confusing.
It is a strange thing that happens when description gets lengthy and clinical: talk too much about right and left sides, or numbers and amounts, or the different color hues, and you lose your audience. It isn't just that readers skip over such description out of boredom (although some do! Gasp!) it's also that for some reason, description like this ends up being forgotten easily even if the readers don't skip it. Why? A big part of it is because there is nothing to anchor the details to. Sure, you told me your character has light skin, brown hair, and blue eyes, but what difference does it make? Does this mean she is average-looking and self-conscious about it? Or maybe her eyes change color from blue to gold when she is about to do magic? Without something to anchor the details to, they are just a string of details instead of a complete picture. If the description doesn't have any impact on the character, scene, or plot, either cut it or give it impact.
3. Choose one or two features to describe for most things
Many years ago, I went to a workshop on flash fiction, and one of the things the teacher shared stuck with me. Choose one striking descriptor, and let the reader’s mind naturally fill in the rest. In flash fiction, one descriptor might be all you get, so you have to make it count. Luckily, when you say slimy, tentacled alien, or bug-eyed monster, or bushy-haired, buck-toothed teenager, my mind automatically goes someplace even without any other details.
So if you choose one or two striking descriptors or feature of whatever you are describing, not only is it more impactful, it is actually easier to picture than a full string of description details.
4. Metaphor and simile can give impact to complex things.
For something more complex that needs further description than that, like the copbot example above, or something new like a unique monster or setting, the way to keep description impactful and pithy is to utilize metaphor and simile! Rather than:
Three red buttons on the left and four green buttons on the right filled a metal plate across the robot’s chest, and one of the buttons would hopefully be the off button.
You could try something like,
A smattering of red and green buttons glowed like Christmas lights on his chest, and I lunged for them.
5. Description doesn't have to stay together.
Spread out your description! This means incorporating the description into the action and choreography rather than keeping it all together between the action. Could be something like,
She threw her long blond hair over her shoulder.
Or,
He cocked a leather-clad fist, and I tried not to shriek as the silver spikes on his knuckles came at me.
In other words, cutting up your descriptions and sprinkling them throughout the scene is one way to give them impact so they don't slow pacing. It doesn't always work if the description needs to come early on, but it is a great description tool that works for lots of different situations.
4. All the above is true, except…
But, there are times when you actually want to have clinical and or lengthy descriptions too, right?
Absofriggenlutely. I wouldn't even call these exceptions because of how common they are. So here are a few times long descriptions really work:
A. Description as voice
Clinical and extremely-detailed descriptions say something about the character or the narrator even more than they tell me what to picture. If the story is from a cyborg’s POV, it would be right in character for his descriptions to mention exactly how many doors are in a room and which side of the room they are located. If the character isn't a cyborg and is consistently giving me these types of descriptions, I would begin to suspect that he is OCD or anal retentive, or might secretly be a cyborg and just doesn't know it yet.
So, sometimes this type of description is absolutely called for in your book and voice, and it works as long as it is purposeful.
B. Description as prose or poetry
Just like lengthy clinical descriptions, poetic descriptions also say something about the narrator. But they also affect the themes, pacing, and most importantly the prose in your book. Sometimes what's on the right and left (I have a thing about this, can you tell?) is put in a way that is less clinical and more about poetic symmetry (a brunette on your lefthand and a redhead on your right). Sometimes a long description of the sunset is needed to slow everything down for a minute. Sometimes the lines of poetry about a boy’s hair color cannot be restrained.
These types of descriptions are more about what they make the reader feel than they are about imagery. Are they right for your book? Well, that depends on your genre, themes, characters, and pacing, but keep it consistent.
And on that note, I’ll close before everyone gets bored and moves on. Or, I guess, before anyone else gets bored and moves on. Go forth and write striking descriptions!
